The Astrology Diaries: Me & My Body

My purpose with astrology is always to empower my clients by helping them to see themselves clearly, and to fall in love with themselves.

It can be hard to see ourselves clearly, and to love what we see; we live in a culture that assaults us with images and messages about what we should look like, think like, be like. We are constantly being told how to be and who we should be.

I use your birth chart (a map of the planets at the time of your birth) as a guide for our work together so that I can show you your gifts (should you not be see them yourself), and help you to fully embrace them. I can help you see the light in a dark situation by helping you navigate your common roadblocks as well.

Today I’m beginning a new series on this blog, called The Astrology Diaries. Each one of these posts will be me sharing my story with you, and today’s story is about a theme in my birth chart that was rather text book as far as astro goes. I will share how I shifted the situation through self awareness, deepest love, and a little discipline.

My goal in sharing these posts that illustrate my personal astrology is to show you how astrology can help you because you will be able to see how it has helped me. Today’s post will focus on my longest and maybe my most frustrating struggle, which is with food and my body.

I have a conjunction of Saturn and Pluto in my second house, in the sign of Libra. A conjunction is when two planets are within a five degree orb of one another, which is very close in the sky, and so their energies are thought to blend together.

The second house rules the material: the body, food, money – as well as what we value and desire. As a person with a collection of planets in Taurus, the Venusian topics of values, desires, as well as the material world (Venus rules both Taurus and Libra), this conjunction can feel dark and heavy to me.

Saturn is where we learn lessons, usually difficult lessons over a long period of time. Pluto often points to where and how we may be self sabotaging, or where we are unaware of certain patterns, certain aspects of ourselves that are running the show while the motivation behind it all remains unknown. Wherever Pluto is in our birth chart is a place that will require attention, awareness, and some probing. You have to dig deep with Pluto.

My personal planets in my birth chart (the personal planets are: the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars) are almost entirely Taurus and Cancer, which tells you that food will likely be a big deal to me. At best, I’d be talented in the kitchen, adept at making simple, nourishing, quality comfort foods and thoroughly enjoying food, my body, savoring the material, physical experience. But when you throw Saturn and Pluto in the mix, you’re looking at what will likely be a sense of heaviness around the material world, an extreme with relationship with food, or a struggle with eating disorders.

While I’d like to say that my awareness around these aspects was enough to heal me, it wasn’t. It took me years, over two decades really, to make progress. However, I shudder to think of what my life would look like right now, without the basic awareness of these aspects in my birth chart. I wonder if I would have had enough self awareness to be able to heal at all.

Much of my experience felt very pointless and out of control. I often wondered if I just wasn’t cut out for this world, because the simple act of existing in a body and eating food was too difficult for me. As I went through some of my saddest periods, periods of my life where I wondered if I’d ever feel worthy, if I’d ever understand happiness, joy , a lightness of being – all things that I wanted with all of my heart – all things that I have always felt are a human birth right, it eased my mind and comforted my heart to know that these struggles were in my birth chart. To know that in many ways, these struggles were highly personal, but that they were also much greater than me.

My healing is highly personal and unique to me and yet it is my contribution, it’s an offering to God. It’s much bigger than just being my healing.

What does healing look like? It looks like me taking great comfort and finding personal peace in Saturn’s limitations, such as a whole foods diet (which is considered limiting by the mainstream, I actually find great freedom in it, which is a very beautiful expression of Saturn!). ¬†I also find myself enjoying moderation, and moving away from the extremes that once felt impossible to get away from. Finding balance when Saturn feel harsh was incredibly challenging for me at times. However, Saturn and Pluto have taught me that my feelings regarding the material, my relationship with food and my body provides me with the greatest insight into my being.

I’ve used my struggles and spun it into a desire to learn and teach others how to feel good in their body and how to make healthy eating delicious and abundant. This is probably my favorite thing in the whole world to do: showing someone how delicious, beautiful, and abundant healthy foods can be. It just requires a little effort. A little effort that Saturn required of me, and now I can show you. And now I can actually take care of myself. I can be creative with my meals and feel so much better within my body, and in many ways I feel grateful to Saturn and Pluto hanging out in my second house for this.

Most importantly, understanding my Saturn and Pluto conjunction showed me that my lifestyle that was a series of undereating ¬†followed by overeating was a sad story I was playing out. I realized that limiting calories throughout the day was making me feel cranky, tired, and weak. Unfortunately, I believed was my only chance at being healthy was to restrict, restrict, restrict. Until I couldn’t restrict anymore, and then ate way too much. This is very dark expression of Saturn in the second house!

I had to look deep within myself, but I also had to be unapologetically honest with myself (Pluto doesn’t eff around!), and I knew what I was doing absolutely had it’s roots in disorder. Luckily, I was able to get myself together, and turn what was basically self abuse, into self love. It didn’t require much besides honesty, and discipline – discipline with genuine, authentic self care and self nourishment. When you know who you are, you understand your patterns, and you see the why behind them, it’s much easier to love and care for yourself, and then it’s so much easier to make decisions that support your personal best.

Without the self awareness that astrology brought to me, I’m doubtful I would have had the courage to get through my darkest days. I may have given up, or considered myself doomed. Astrology has shown me the order, or the divine behind the chaos. It’s shown me the divine in me.

I shared the above quote by David Teems because this is what astrology is all about for me. It’s about gaining awareness around our destructive, disempowering, painful patterns so that we can break through them and be harmonious again. We are not prisoners to our birth chart, we are only prisoners to the limitations imposed on us by our own minds. We can change our lives and our thoughts as soon as we are tired of playing out the same old sad story. It’s not an easy, quick journey for most of us, but it is always worth it. Masters aren’t made in a day!

So, I hope that you give yourself this opportunity to understand your birth chart as well. I am currently offering my Self-Love + Astrology Course as a gift when you book a session with me, along with a personalized guided meditation and writing prompt, all inspired by our work together. I also offer discounts on packages of two or more sessions.

You can book a session by clicking here. I have availability for two clients in January!

Thank you for reading this post; I really hope this helps you know that you are not alone with any struggle you are experiencing!

I hope to talk with you soon!

With Love,

Marlena

 

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